Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Ten Months Pregnant

I guess he just wanted to be a June baby.

As it nears midnight, I am approaching being four days past my due date. Six days past, if you are counting by menstrual dating.

I know this is only my second baby, but it is new (and odd) to me, not exactly what I expected. Hunter was a day early and pretty simple and straightforward. One afternoon I started having regular, very mild contractions. They increased in severity and closeness slowly but steadily for the evening until my water broke at eleven pm. Hunter was born six hours later.

With this little guy, we've been playing the waiting game for what seems like an eternity. I've been having contractions, but not regularly. Today, I have had a lot, but they come and go, being three or four minutes apart for a little while, then ten minutes apart, then none for an hour or two. Some are sharp and painful, some just like little cramps, other times I will just notice mild tightening. I seem to have lost my mucus plug. But we're still waiting.

I'm not in too much of a hurry. Things are happening, at least, and this morning the baby was monitored and is doing fine. We have family in town, though, and they can only be here for a few more days. My husband is getting a bit worried, wondering why the baby isn't here yet. I keep getting asked, "Anything yet? Any news?" from anxious relatives. I try to not let any of it get to me, but it's difficult.

Tomorrow afternoon, I am scheduled to be admitted to the hospital and given a cervix softener. That, in and of itself, will hopefully induce labor. If not, they are wanting to put me on pitocin, which I don't want. Either way, three pm tomorrow is waiting anxiously for me. Once I'm in, I'm not going home without a baby in arms. I worry if I'm making the right decision, but don't know what else to do. Hopefully, everything will go well. I have a feeling that tomorrow is going to be a long night.

"Baby binder", with developmental profile cover,
near bags to take to hospital

Our bags are packed, as they have been for almost a month. I have many materials made for the baby, but not all. The baby has plenty of clothes, toiletries, basic necessities. The house is mostly clean, the laundry mostly done.

I'm excited, ready to meet this baby, but so unsure of myself. Unsure of what to expect, in labor and delivery, in the first few weeks. I remember, but at the same time don't remember, what it is like to have a newborn. I don't know what it will be like having a baby and doing the Doman program, and trying to homeschool a first grader, and in a few weeks, trying to do all that plus work with daycare kids ten hours a day. It'll all come together, I'm sure, but I worry, I fear for my inadequacy.

The stuff I didn't get done, I try not to worry about. I know I might be out of commission beyond breast feeding and recovering from labor for the first week or two, but after that, I know that here and there, there will be time to accomplish other things.

Even with all my fears, doubts, and worries, I am as ready as I'll ever be to meet this little guy and begin this new adventure, this new phase in our life. I'm scared, anxious, nervous, but I know that, somehow, everything will be okay.

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted" 
Ecclesiastes 3:1-2

Hunter is 6 years, 2 months old
Baby boy # 2 is 40 weeks, 3 days gestation